Is There a “Right Way” to Correct Children?

It's not a blog about spanking...

If you were born during a time when you were physically beaten as a child…you’re my people! 

I wasn’t raised in a culture of time-outs, taking electronics away, or writing essays on why I could make better choices.

When I screwed up…I was lovingly (most of the time) physically corrected in a manner that I wouldn’t soon forget.

The boomers didn’t always get everything right, but I appreciated the love my parents put into make sure that I WAS actually disciplined in a way that I was able to connect the dots between my bad choices (behavior/attitude) and the consequences of those choices – discipline.

Now, I don’t disagree that we are living in a different time. Taking a kid’s tablet/ipod/phone away has POWERFUL emotional ties to their behavior and produces a much better result than if you were to take my etch-a-scetch away (or my Rubix cube).

No matter how you choose to discipline, there are a few things that have to happen for it to be REAL discipline.

1. Clear Understanding.

When a child doesn’t know why they are being disciplined, there’s already a problem.  They have to have a clear understanding of what behavior/attitude/choice they are being disciplined for and why.  Even when I had to wait ALL DAY LONG for my dad to come home and reign the fire of discipline over me (just kidding, my Dad was awesome), I knew what I had done, and why I was going to be disciplined. Even when I entered my tweenager years and my biggest issue was my sarcastic smart mouth, my mother was extraordinarily quick to administer a sharp correction (usually a hand to the back of my head) so that I understood IN THAT MOMENT why I was in trouble.  When kids don’t have a clear understanding, your discipline is not doing what you hope it’s doing.

“NO… We Don’t Say Those Words!” – (Slang, Cussing, Cursing)

I can’t remember who said this – but I love this quote!

“Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind to express itself.”

If you’re a parent of older elementary, middle, or high-schooler- you understand the tension of watching your kids try to express themselves through the use of profanity. Many times it starts out with just pushing the envelope to see what’s acceptable – repeating what they heard on the bus or their favorite Disney show.

Parents have one simple phrase that is repeated over and over again, “no… we don’t say those words.” What? Are you kidding me – you’re pants on fire! (because you’re a liar!) The truth is, you’ve said and probably still say (in the right circumstances) worse things than your kid has ever said.

Eventually, every kid learns what they can and cannot say in front of mom & dad and they move to what is acceptable and preferred language in their group of friends. This is natural.

Is there a better way to ensure our kids don’t have a “potty mouth?” I think so.

The Tension is Real Podcast Episode 8 – Tension in Parenting Styles

How to deal with the Tension in different Parenting Styles

Welcome to The Tension is Real Podcast. A podcast dedicated to real discussion about the TENSION that exists between Life and Faith and how to embrace it so we can live with purpose and freedom.

Today’s Topic – The Tension in Parenting Styles
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