I don’t normally read the satire blog “Babylonbee,” but I do love some of the stuff they put out and my friends share on Facebook. “After 12 Years of Quarterly Church Attendance, Parents are Shocked by Daughter's Lack of Faith." This latest article hits on a topic that I know many lead pastors, family pastors, youth pastors, and children’s pastors deal with. They struggle to connect with this type of family and have no choice but to simply view them as “fringe” attendees who they cannot really “count” as a part of their church. I’m not here to defend the occasional church goer. However, since most pastors and leaders are looking for every way they can get more people to visit their church, I’m often surprised they would have a negative view of the occasional attender. I go there too!  It’s too easy to simply write them off and focus on those who are more committed, consistent, and who I can count on. I want to challenge all of us to consider 3 ways we can better understand and maybe even reach the occasional church attender. 

1. Don’t Assume They’re Living Disconnected. The article picks on a modern trend of families who value sports and extracurricular activities more than they value church. We assume they are living disconnected lives, and the best thing for them is to give up that stuff and get into a small group! This might be true in some cases, but it’s not true in all cases. My nephew plays travel baseball and anytime they have a game out of town, the entire family goes for the weekend. My brother & sister-in-law work very hard, and sometimes these weekends away are some of the best family time they could spend together.

Many people also already have a small group (maybe not like the one you hope they would join at church, but a group of families and friends who they connect with on a regular basis at games & events). Just because those relationships outside of your church are not as “Christ-centered” as you claim your small groups to be, it doesn’t mean they don’t have an impact on and value for that family.

Why not offer ways for them to LEAD their group of friends, parents, and connections at games using spiritually directed questions YOU SEND THEM?. Challenge them to live out the gospel where they are and take advantage of the time they spend in those activities sharing their faith. It might not work for everyone, but if it worked for some of them - WOW! Imagine the impact they could make for the kingdom.

2. Always Offer Them the Same Opportunities. When people only occasionally attend, we tend to view them as uncommitted. We assume they lack the proper understanding that attending church should be a priority to a believer, and they should be willing to attend regularly even if they are not yet serving. However, I’ve noticed that directly offering opportunities for them to serve can be a catalyst to what God wants to do in their hearts. Rule #14 | Never say someone’s NO for them!  We have a habit of assuming people will say no to an opportunity, so we don’t even ask them. This is a FAILURE on you as a leader, not on them as an infrequent attender. They might say “no” 9 out of 10 times, but it might just be that 1 time that they say YES that everything changes for them.

3. You’re Their Pastor, So Pastor Them. Most folks who I’ve encountered that occasionally attend your church still view you as “their pastor.”  It might even torque you off when they only come 5-8 times per year, but they introduce you as their pastor to strangers. Take the honor. Assume the best of their remarks. If they view you as their pastor, then pastor them.

Sure, it takes more intentionality and often more time since you don’t have the opportunity to catch them in the lobby between services. When they need you, do all that you can to serve them.Send them notes throughout the dry season (when they don’t come) that you’re thinking of them and their family and praying for them (and actually pray for them). You’ll never know how God will choose to reach them and draw them into a closer relationship with Himself if you’re allowing their lack of commitment to you dictate your commitment to them. You can’t reach everyone, but you can reach some of them. Be the Pastor they need, not the one you think they deserve.

I’m not saying it’s easy or that every occasional or quarterly church attender is going to respond positively to any of these suggestions. Isn’t it worth a shot to take advantage of those who already come through the doors of your church (even if occasionally,) versus spending larger amounts of emotional energy trying to figure out how to get someone who won’t come to your church through the doors? It’s never just one or the other, but we need to find ways to lead BOTH of these groups into a growing relationship with Jesus!